Slow Down to Listen and Lead

by Sharon S. Golden

Published in South Texas Home, Garden & Lifestyle Magazine; Fall 2004

Listening impacts every aspect of our lives. It's a core business skill that influences our ability as leaders and decision makers across every facet of business. Performance, teamwork, level of respect and all business and personal outcomes are impacted by listening. The listening skills of leaders as well as individuals at every level throughout an organization effects every phase of operations and all business outcomes. If you consider the broad implications of listening, you'll see that the impact extends to all interpersonal relationships, local and global communities and can even impact our health and well being.

The ability to listen is fundamental for business and personal success. The misunderstandings, conflicts, poor decisions and inefficient use of resources that result from lack of listening have a significant impact on daily business operations and relationships with customers, as well as the ability to achieve business goals. When listening is present, it fosters respect, creativity, connection, innovation and individual and organizational health. By opening to deeper levels of listening, individuals can experience the benefits of listening to others as well as listening within. This improvement in the quality of listening can have a positive impact on every aspect of business operations--- including the bottom line.

Pause and Reflect

If you're one of many who have innocently slipped into the habit of living and working at an accelerated pace that keeps your mind spinning like a hamster on a wheel, consider the potential benefits of SLOWING DOWN to listen. In an effort to keep up with the demands of business and the rapid pace of work and life, many people extend themselves by working longer hours, skipping meals and breaks and multi-tasking in an attempt to accomplish more.

Let's pause and reflect for a moment to consider the results you're experiencing in your life.

  • Are you achieving the business and personal outcomes desired or are you mentally exhausted and fatigued?
  • Is your awareness generally in the present or do you frequently find your thoughts stuck in the past or whirling off into future possibilities?
  • Do you take time to connect with co-workers, family and friends or are you too busy to even listen to them while you're trying to keep your head above water and climb the ladder of success?
  • Do you take time to listen within and reflect on the course of your work and your life and allow your inner wisdom to guide you or do you feel pressured to take action so you can check tasks off of your list?
  • Do innovative ideas come to you easily or do you find yourself recycling and reorganizing variations of the same solutions you've tried in the past that didn't work?
  • What benefits could you enjoy if you were to slow down and really listen to each person you interact with during the day and listen within for wisdom and inspiration?
  • Have you ever considered what you might be missing?

Practice the Power of Presence

Everyone has the ability to be a good listener, so why is it that people don't listen? There are many potential reasons why listening is less than optimal, but the primary cause is generally due to distraction by our own thoughts and difficulty maintaining presence that's focused on the here and now.

Listening is a state of "being" rather than "doing." In addition to not talking, it requires slowing down to focus on the present, letting go of conditioned thinking and judgments about our self and others and quieting our minds. Thoughts about the past, the future and what we would like to say when the other person stops talking interfere with listening. When we release our focus on the content of our own thoughts, we can listen deeply with a clear and open mind. Listening in this way with nothing on our minds connects us with inner stillness and allows us to experience our natural connection with others. As we listen from presence and inner quiet, the message being communicated is clearly conveyed in the same way that a pool of still water reflects its surroundings in the sunlight. It becomes a mirror that reflects wisdom and creativity emerging from within, as well as the essence of words spoken and feelings communicated.

Focusing on the past or the future and dwelling on the content of our thinking prevents us from maintaining the presence that allows us to listen and connect with others, as well as with our own inner wisdom. When we lack presence and inner stillness, we're not really able to hear what customers, co-workers, friends and family are trying to communicate. When we're gripped by our own thoughts, we experience an inner dialogue that distracts us and prevents the real listening that happens when we approach listening with nothing on our mind.

Enjoy the Benefits of Slowing Down to Listen

It's ironic that slowing down and quieting your mind to listen from a state of presence with nothing on your mind actually allows you to accomplish more. It can also have a positive effect on business outcomes and relationships, as well as your health. A whirlwind state of mind makes you less effective, less creative, erodes valuable relationships, creates stress and decreases the quality of business outcomes. It reminds me of the childhood tale of the tortoise and the hare and how it applies to listening. That simple story illustrates how slowing down can help maintain the state of mind of presence that allows us to demonstrate consistent quality outcomes and actually achieve more. It illustrates a healthier approach to work and life instead of. approaching it all as a race to be won.

The ability to maintain presence for listening also allows you to listen within. Allowing your mind to quiet is like shifting your gears into neutral and coasting down a hill without using your brakes. It actually accelerates your ability to access creative ideas and moves you forward more quickly. This type of deep listening can have a calming effect on the listener as well as the speaker. It creates a bridge that links both listener and speaker to the inner wisdom, creativity, inspiration and intuition that's within each of us. The ability to tap into these inner resources is critical for sound business decisions and these unlimited resources are available to all who truly listen.

The business and personal rewards that result when we listen from presence and inner stillness include wisdom, creativity and innovation for business decisions and solutions, as well as positive business outcomes and relationships. Other benefits include improved communication, greater connection, consideration and cooperation among individuals and teams. Improving the quality of listening can draw out one's natural capacity for positive states of mind and relax both listener and speaker. The benefits of improved listening can have a positive impact on all aspects of individual and organizational performance, including healthy profitability.

It's time to slow down and listen so we can be more effective leaders and restore healthy ways of working, living and relating. Maintaining a state of mind of presence and listening to others as well as listening within allows you to respond to emerging new business realities with agility. It allows access to fresh ideas that address the ever changing demands of business. When you listen deeply from a state of presence with nothing on your mind, you'll experience the mystery and power of how listening in this way can produce beneficial results that penetrate the fabric of work and life and result in increased quality and satisfaction in all areas. If you're ready to slow down and listen, you'll find out what you've been missing.

Ignite Your Potential for Listening and Leading

  • Practice maintaining presence with the ordinary every day activities in your life.
  • Cultivate an awareness of your level of listening at work and at home.
  • Create some quiet time for yourself daily. You can find creative ways to do this.
  • Encourage and model listening with others at work and at home.
  • Slow down, connect with inner stillness and stay present for optimal listening
  • Be open to different points of view. Listening to and understanding different points of view helps to broaden the options you're able to see and hear in your own life.
  • Be open to new insights about listening that relate to your work, relationships and life.
  • Spend time in nature and experience the stillness of nature along with your own inner stillness.
  • Keep a journal of your insights related to listening and the benefits you experience.
  • Enjoy the infinite possibilities for learning by listening to others and listening within.